Peter's Secret
by muggleborn444
Summary: How many more secrets can the marauders harbor? A hilarious one shot featuring Peter, a pink thong, and some angsty marauders. Drunken Sirius makes an appearance, as well as a brassed off Lily of course . Many thanks to Callisto Nicol for the PDoV!


"Really Sirius, you shouldn't be drinking any more firewhisky." Sirius didn't hear him, as he was busy pouring himself another glass of the alcohol. "We have class tomorrow and tests in Potions, Charms and Transfiguration." Remus added on as an afterthought.

"Wha?!? Moh-hoony says no whisky-fire? But…but…Padfoot wants more!" Sirius shrieked drunkenly.

"James. James! Prongs? PRONGS!" Remus finally yelled, fed up.

"Mmmmm…what Moony? This had better be important. You are interrupting my Lily-Gazing Time." James frowned, almost as wasted as Sirius.

"I need help getting Sirius upstairs to our dorm." 16-year-old James was about to refuse when Sirius suddenly yelled,

"Lily-Muffin! I like your skirt! What's undernea…",

James clamped a hand over his mouth and seethed with rage.

"You're right." He muttered to Remus before yelling very loudly,

"LET'S GO!" in Sirius's ear.

"Go? Where?" Sirius looked around lost.

"To our dorm." James replied pushing an unwilling Sirius up the stairs.

"Ooooooo, Prongs I didn't know you felt that way about me!" Drunken

Sirius exclaimed. Rolling his eyes James finally shoved Sirius through the door with some help from Remus. Sirius lay sprawled on the nearest bed, (Peter's), for a minute before flipping on his back and smirking,

"Getting rough now are we? Hmmmmm?"

"Shut up and go to your own bed. I am NOT interested in you. Does the name Lily ring a bell?"

"Bells? WHERE ARE THERE BELLS? I WANT A BELL! WHERE JAMES, WHERE?" Padfoot bellowed.

"In your bed," James said sighing. With a squeal, Sirius leapt from Peter's bed onto his own, dislodging a few things from the sheets as he went.

"You, Prongsie-Poo! YOU LIED! To ME! How COULD you?!?! We are SO over." Sirius moped.

"Yeah." James said offhandedly, picking something off the floor that had fallen out of Peter's sheets. He stretched the thin, lacy, pink thong between his fingers as Peter walked into the room.

"Hey guys, what's going…on…" he whitened as he saw the object in James's hands. Sirius and Remus were gaping as James asked, "Whose is this Peter?"

Not being able to tell them that it was indeed _his_ thong, Peter quickly cast about for a girl's name. His eyes fell on James's

Transfiguration "notes" that was comprised mainly of little hearts with the names James Potter and…

"Erm…Lily. Evans." He muttered into the silence. He looked up to see Sirius and Remus' eyes growing wide. His eyes got big too as he realized what he had said. James was frozen; the thong dropped to the floor, forgotten. Then, faster than anyone thought possible, James had crossed the room and was pummeling Peter into the floor.

"AARRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He roared.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" was Peter's high-pitched shrieked.

"James that is probably not okay…James…NO STOP! JAMES! DO NOT WET WILLY PETER!" Remus's warning came too late as Peter squealed in extreme displeasure.

"Go James! Get 'em good!" Sirius crowed laughing.

Suddenly there was silence. Lily stood in the doorway, gaping at the scene before her. James lowered his fist and rolled off Peter onto his feet. Before she could say anything, he swept the thong off the floor.

"One question, Lily. Is this yours?" he muttered, looking at the ground so as not to meet her eyes.

"WHAT? NO!!!" Lily shouted blushing furiously.

Immediately four sets of eyes swiveled to Peter's face.

"I-I-I…lied?" he tried. James was crouching to spring, but to the boys' amazement, Lily was already there.

"HOW DARE YOU SPREAD NASTY, UNTRUE RUMORS ABOUT ME!!!" she shrieked, her tiny fists pummeling madly.

James carefully wrapped his strong arms around her waist and pulled her off of Peter. "Now, now Lily, all we have to do is find out whose it is, and then we can tease him for a few days and then it will all be over… So Peter, whose is it REALLY?"

Sighing, Peter muttered, "Mine."

"WHAT?!?!?! WHOA!?!?!??!" The whole room exploded, the boys gagging while Lily muttered, "Way, WAY too much information." Finally James spoke up.

"So Lily, since I'm not as weird as Peter, will you go out with me?"

Lily paused, and then grinned.

"I'd love to!"

James swept Lily into a deep kiss while Remus clapped, Sirius danced the Padfoot Dance of Victory, and Peter flushed the same color as the scandalous undergarment that had started the entire confusion. Suddenly, Peter grabbed the thong off the floor and dashed out of the room.

"Hey Prongs, do you want us to go get him? Prongs?" Sirius asked his best friend, who was still in a passionate lip-lock with Lily.

"We'll take that as a yes." Remus said and smiled as he and Sirius ran yelling from the room while the oblivious couple continued kissing.


End file.
